And with much ado...

It took a lot of considering, but I did finally come to the conclusion that I needed to change my minor studies. I was doing Drama, but I didn't have the energy for it. Coupled with working most nights, drama was taking too much out of me. I was too tired, too grumpy, and that only made things worse for me.

So, I bit the bullet and decided that I had to make a change before I ended up too tired, too upset, and lost my motivation for Uni altogether. Part of me feels guilty, though. I loved Drama, and I feel bad about quitting something that was really fun. I know it all came down to me either changing things around entirely, or dropping it for something less physically-demanding. (On a side-note, this is another reason why I have decided not to have children. I don't have the energy for a Uni course, how can I keep up with a kid??)

Add that to being made to feel like an idiot at home (only sometimes, and normally when I *am* acting like one), and it's just a whole recipe for disaster. I don't know how to act around some people anymore, I don't know what to say that's not going to get me into trouble (so to speak). I just wish things were as uncomplicated for me now as they were when I was 13. Obviously, this isn't going to happen, but I can wish can't I?

I know I need to find another way to vent everything, but when all you want to do is lay on the floor, yelling, crying, and screaming at the world... nothing else seems as good, somehow. This is the sad bit - I don't even have the energy to do any painting other than the stuff we've been set during my art class at Uni!